apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
