I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
