I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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