spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
