my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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