we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
