Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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