508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
