she looked like the before picture.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
there is puke in my bra ... again
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
