apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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