Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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