If that was your dad, he is hot
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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