I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
