remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We left the knife in your bed.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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