so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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