This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
