We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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