This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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