fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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