After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
