Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
