I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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