so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Success! We fucked roommates!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
