So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
