so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
