how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The air was thick with penises
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
