I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
