I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
