Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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