im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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