There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
