Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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