Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just cropdusted the office
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize