I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
