whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
