Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
