Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
