yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
