Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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