I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
