Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
