Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
