remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
