his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
