This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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