I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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