last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
