I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize