Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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