I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
