I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
