We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
