i think my tv is drunk
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize