There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
