I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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