How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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