i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
