you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
