I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
