At least make sure they are 18
Why
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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